🫖 Drink up, losers! 🫖
Poised at the microphone, Evana asked me, tentatively, what I thought about Ray’s. My voice raised an octave or two. “I’m, like, a little against it generally.” We both laughed with relief and she interjected: “Me too! Please go in.”
I continued with a mocking pantomime: “iSn’T iT CoOl WhAt A nOrMaL bAr ThIs Is? We only do NORMAL cocktails, like gin and tonic.” The night I went to the reading in the basement, I tapped my card willing to pay anything to occupy my hands with a plastic-cupped G&T sans lime. My credit card statement was stamped with an ignominious $20.62.
Evana agreed that the vibes at Ray’s are off, and mentioned how a lot of places in New York feel like adult DisneyWorld. This led me to think about an oft-discussed phenomenon among my friends: that of the Fake Place. Of course, Fake Places are abundant in the Paper Belt, characterized by a nod to tradition that falls flat due to any number of circumstances—newness, location, patrons. As sick as I am of “vibes” discourse, the simplest way to put it is as follows: in Fake Places, the vibes are off.
An article about Universal CityWalk—the uncanny, theme-park-ified “city” blocks between the parking lot and Universal Studios—introduced me to the topics of simulacra and heterotopia, which are great tools for discussing Fake Places.
While Foucault alluded to cemeteries, prisons, and fairgrounds as heterotopia, my mind goes to places that are even faker by design. Idealistic, design-heavy places for people to live like Reston in Virginia, Playa Vista in Los Angeles, and Disney’s dream of EPCOT. Overtly-themed restaurants like Johnny Rocket’s, the Rainforest Cafe and [example Evana was referring to]. Las Vegas, naturally, is the fakest place of all: an air-conditioned desert transcending place and time, with casino after casino designed to transport you to miniature versions of the wonders of the world.
Universal City
As mentioned last week, I’m in Los Angeles for a bit Did I do my journalistic duty of taking the 28 mile excursion to revisit Universal CityWalk myself? I did not.
5 songs for the vibes being off
A sense of prevailing emptiness
Alongside my Spotify archive, I’ve created Youtube mini playlists so that you can easily listen to the songs of the week! Let me know what you prefer.
“Khmlwugh,” HOMESHAKE
HOMESHAKE two weeks in a row? I know, I know…
🎶 Lyrics 🎶
“Captain Stupido,” Thundercat
Comments
🎶 Lyrics 🎶
“All We Are,” Dirty Projectors, Bjork
Comments
🎶 Lyrics 🎶
“Sleep Will Come,” The Durutti Column
Comments
🎶 peace will come, and with it sleep 🎶
“Night Ride,” The Growlers
Comments
🎶 Lyrics 🎶
🫖 Later, skaters! Show your support for Insecure Tea by liking, sharing, or upgrading to a paid subscription. Paid subscribers get access to everything, including my reading recommendation column, tsundoku, and the occasional poem or illustration! 🫖