🫖 After last week’s relatively heavy reflections, I’m doing something a little different this week! Hope you enjoy. 🫖
Steps to a Juicier Existence
I.
Pull over ur car
if u are driving;
If traveling by foot, u may
simply veer ur pedestrian course toward
the man with the cart on the side of the road.
Approach the [batallion] of mangos
They are bountiful
But
unequal.
Take ur time (really, what’s the rush?)
& fondle as many as you can1
Squeeze them gently
But firmly! They are resilient.
Any mango that feels softfirm in your hand like the
arm of a friend
Qualifies for the second round of scrutiny:
the sniff. Cast aside the unfragranced fruits
(carefully, though, these are the man’s livelihood)
and purchase two or three or four that have the
Potential to be Perfect.
Pay in paper dollars and metal coins
to remind urself that money is a
Real Commodity™
Go home or wherever else
there is a knife.
Separate the flesh from the Pit
in as large of pieces as possible
With the bladetip, score a graphlike pattern
and eat the fruit right off the skin
(Do NOT do this over the sink or garbage can!!)
Enjoy the sweetness
And remember that u are alive.
II.
Buy an ice cube tray
reminiscent of
that Don’t Break The Ice game
daydream about the satisfying
tip tip tap
of tiny plastic mallets
Let yourself be a kid, goddamn it!
III.
Do Something
and don’t tell anyone.
Go to a bar;
Take a beautiful picture;
Develop a crush;
Read a book;
Overhear a bizarre conversation.
That Is All.
Do the thing,
keep it to urself
and just chill
This will be ur little secret
to remind u that u exist
Just like all the other trees that fell in the forest.
5 Juicy Tunes
I don’t think I have to explain why these songs come across as so juicy to me. They’re absolutely dripping with juice!
“Soul No. 5,” Caroline Rose
Juice level: 8
Key juicy moment: (02:54) “SoOOooUUl! SOoOoOul! SoOoOUuUL!”
“Trader Joe,” Junglepussy
Juice level: 9
Key juicy moment: (00:35) “I’m a mango mami, pero te quiero papi, But not more than I want to be makin so much money.”
“Kill Me,” Indigo De Souza
Juice level 7.75
Key juicy moment: (01:21) “Kill me, kill me. No one asked me to feel this fucked up. But, here I am fucked up!”
“Gardenia,” Iggy Pop
Juice level: 7 (Iggy’s vocals have really only gotten juicier with age)
Key juicy moment: (03:42) “You could be burned at the stake, for all your mistakes, mistakes, mistakes.”
“Little White Lies,” Annette Hanshaw
Juice level: 9.3
Key juicy moment: honestly the opening instrumentals (00:01-00:19). But, lyrically: (02:30) “A smile will be on her lips, but tears will be in your eyes. Your heart will be broken by little white lies.”
🫖 Thanks for reading! Here’s to living life a bit more juicily. 🫖
if the man looks at u suspiciously, proceed undeterred.
if he says something (god forbid!) consider
taking ur patronage elsewhere.